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9 books of Notaro, Laurie

Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity–and leave readers doubled over with laughter. In The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-­free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes; welcomes the newest ex-­con (yay, a sex offender!­) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired–resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-­knocking on her back door.

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The author of the New York Times bestseller The Idiot Girls92 Action-­Adventure Club tackles her biggest challenge yet: grown-­up life.­In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-­night partyer and bar-­stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air-­conditioning. Laurie finds grown-­up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-­stubbing threshold of matrimony. From her mother's grade-­school warning to avoid kids in tie-­dyed shirts because their hippie parents spent their food money on drugs and art supplies; to her night-­before-­the-­wedding panic over whether her religion is the one where you step on the glass; to her unfortunate overpreparation for the mandatory drug-­screening urine test at work; to her audition as a Playboy centerfold as research for a newspaper story, Autobiography of a Fat Bride has the same zits-­and-­all candor and outrageous humor . . .

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34 downloads

Pinterest. Foodies. Anne Frank’s underwear. New York Times bestselling author Laurie Notaro—rightfully hailed as “the funniest writer in the solar system” (The Miami Herald)—spares nothing and no one, least of all herself, in this uproarious new collection of essays on rudeness. With the sardonic, self-­deprecating wit that makes us all feel a little better about ourselves for identifying with her, Laurie explores her recent misadventures and explains why it’s not her who is nuts, it’s them (and okay, sometimes it’s her too). Whether confessing that her obsession with buying fabric has reached junior hoarder status or mistaking a friend’s heinous tattoo as temporary, Laurie puts her unique spin—sometimes bizarre, always entertaining—on the many perils of modern living in a mannerless society. From shuddering at the graphic Harry Potter erotica conjured up at a writer’s group to lamenting the sudden ubiquity of quinoa (“It looks like larvae no matter how you cook it”), The Potty . . .

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38 downloads
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IT’S LAURIE NOTARO’S HOLIDAY HANDBOOK. PREPARE TO LAUGH YOUR TINSEL OFF. It’s the most wonderful–and most dreadful–season of the year, when boxes of truffles attack your thighs, drunken holiday revelers stay long past their welcome, and your grandmother has conniptions at the department store over the price of hand lotion. Welcome to Laurie Notaro’s Christmastime. In ten brand-­new stories and three previously published favorites, Notaro shares the sidesplitting daily disasters of the holidays, like finding herself on emergency feminine product recon at midnight on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable Horrible Gift Parade by simply asking for holiday dish towels and giant white underpants from Sears; battling the morons in line at the Seventh Circle of Hell, otherwise known as the do-­it-­yourself craft store; and trying to live down her reputation as the Most Unfun Christmas Party Guest Ever, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a fake overdose and emergency . . .

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20 downloads
Book rate:
20 downloads
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SUMMARY: Death is what happens while you're busy making other plans. Coming home from a Hawaiian vacation with her best girlfriends, Lucy Fisher is stunned to find everything she owns tossed out on her front lawn, the locks changed, and her fiancée's phone disconnected-­plus she's just lost her job. With her world spinning wildly out of her control, Lucy decides to make a new start and moves upstate to live with her sister and nephew. But then things take an even more dramatic turn: A fatal encounter with public transportation lands Lucy not in the hereafter but in the nearly hereafter. She's back in school, learning the parameters of spooking and how to become a successful spirit in order to complete a ghostly assignment. If Lucy succeeds, she's guaranteed a spot in the next level of the afterlife-­but until then, she's stuck as a ghost in the last place she would ever want to be. Trying to avoid being trapped on earth for all eternity, Lucy crosses the line between life and death . . .

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20 downloads

Here are more scathingly funny tales from the wild side! Laurie Notaro survived the debauched ride of her twenties and the bumpy road to matrimony. Now she’s ready to take on the thirtysomething years . . . and almost middle age has never been more hilarious. Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now—miraculously—employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she’s dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-­foot-­plus Gretchen (“Three Thousand Faces of Eve”) before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-­too-­small pants) new mom Suzzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie’s newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-­rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-­addicted mother and the rest of the . . .

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13 downloads

She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-­food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!­” to the hapless Sears customer-­service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-­thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-­mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!­”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the . . .

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10 downloads

The first novel from the New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls92 Action-­Adventure Club is a rollicking tale of small-­town peculiarity, dark secrets, and one extraordinary beauty pageant.­When her husband is offered a post at a small university, Maye is only too happy to pack up and leave the relentless Phoenix heat for the lush green quietude of Spaulding, Washington. While she loves the odd little town, there is one thing she didn92t anticipate: just how heartbreaking it would be leaving her friends behind. And when you92re a childless thirtysomething freelance writer who works at home, making new friends can be quite a challenge.­After a series of false starts nearly gets her exiled from town, Maye decides that her last chance to connect with her new neighbors is to enter the annual Sewer Pipe Queen Pageant, a kooky but dead-­serious local tradition open to contestants of all ages and genders. Aided by a deranged former pageant queen with one eyebrow, Maye doesn92t . . .

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6 downloads

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Books of Notaro, Laurie